My problem is, I don't feel pregnant. Yes, I have nausea, yes, I eat every two hours. But it hasn't hit me. I haven't allowed myself to believe it. The few minutes when I actually think it could be true is when I see that little image on the u/s machine and when I check...yes, that wand is on MY belly, not someone else's. It's not smoke and mirrors....or is it?
Then I quickly go back to not believing. It's not logical, but hello? It has taken me and so many of you reading this SOOO F-KING long to get here, that I just expect it to be taken away in (literally) a heartbeat. When I see blood (at 6 weeks, at 11 weeks and now the last 5 days), I think: "See? It's all over." How am I supposed to not panic and worry and think that this is the end?
I put a call in to my ob/gyn and she is going to call me back this afternoon. I can't even see through my tears right now, but hopefully the doctor will give me some answers. Thanks for reading.
I am sure this is normal, esp seeing you both are feeling like this. You have been through a lot to get here. I am sure as your pregnancy progresses and youy start to show and then feel the kick it will become more real.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nic. We are super focused on being pregnant that once we are- well what are we supposed to do but worry about losing what we have achieved. let yourself feel anyway you see fit - after all, you're pregnant!! :-)
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhh yes indeed. Thank you thank you for making me feel less alone. I hope you got some needed and deserved reassurance from your doc. I know that folks can bleed their way through this whole pregnancy thang but it sure would be nice if the universe would cut you a break.
ReplyDelete