Feed me, Seymour

My body’s new trick is that each day it requires more food than the previous one. Ok, that may be a slight exageration, but it is my perceived reality. It’s a strange beast, this hunger. Come to think of it, have you ever seen the weight watchers commercial in which they personify hunger as a furry beast who is always popping up to tempt or cajole its victims into eating? (See above.) Yes, well, that beast lives inside me. Try to ignore it and it strikes back with lightheadedness, dizziness and overall malaise. Ask me about how I decided to keep vacuuming rather than stop and eat. By the time I tried to whip up some guacamole, my hands were so shaky I ended up with ceramic shards and green goop all over the kitchen.

These hunger pangs come out of nowhere and also can shut down my stomach without warning. The hunger? Irregular. Maybe every three hours, maybe after an hour and half since my last feeding. And my favorite? My internal monster has now decided it needs midnight feedings, too. So I get up to pee, and get back into bed witha  box of crackers. Speaking of crackers, sometimes they are a great snack and sometimes they are like throwing stones into an abyss. My monster says “get some cheese on those things or you’re in trouble.” And thtat leaves us with the “Stop. NO more” reaction. You would think I would be able to finish a bowl of cereal in the morning, but there are always two bites that I can not even bare to look at. 

Not complaining. Just fascinated, really.